How much time have I wasted behaving this way?

Autumn makes me think about possibilities.

This weekend, Mr. P and I walked by Miss Pixies.  Miss Pixies is an auction-to-store boutique. I've never been inside. But lately, I've been considering adding a few new pieces to my apartment. I want more old school Sex and the City, not three-years-later-I'm-so-fab-rich Sex and the City.  I want wood. I want brown.

I also started to look for another apartment.

Now, it's true that I would love for Mr. P to be the guy I move in with. I love him to pieces and I want to live with him. Not live with him but live with him. It took my 32-years to be this genuinely, consistently happy, and I'm really sad that we can't seem to get past all of our insecurities and just live as fully as we can.
The truth of the matter is, I don't want to wait to build a life. In all likelihood, he will move on from DC. I just might make this place my home permanently. And even if I don't, there's no reason I can't make it my home for now.

So, Miss Pixie's has great stuff. But so does Good Wood. And I'm so excited to go there. I want a credenza and a nightstand. And I want to frame all these little pictures I have, and print some more. It's funny, someone suggests that I be more me, and suddenly I'm drunk, obsessed with it. Good Wood is probably super expensive and I won't be able to afford anything. But the thing in DC is, you never really know until you try. It's a city filled with disappointment (everything here is expensive, the odds that I would find a thrifty shop furniture store in my price range is 1%): qualified people don't get the good jobs, the government is always trying to shut down, and then there is mind-splittingly bad traffic. It's just bad.

This should be fun. I'm kind of excited about it.