If I had told myself that people are more than the sum of their memories a year ago, I would've agreed. But I wouldn't have been able to say that about myself.
A year ago, I felt as if I had become paralyzed by my own disturbed emotional state, fallen into a chair in a dark, empty theater and forcibly witnessed the retelling of the most disappointing and painful memories I had.
Raj said it best, as usual.
"What happened?" he asked. I don't remember the day it was, what was happening, nothing.
"I fell in love!" I shouted angrily, my tears literally falling over themselves to escape my sobs.
"So, you fell. But you are not falling anymore."
Why didn't I listen? I felt as though I had fallen, and kept falling, through the bottom and then through the jagged foundations of love, and even further to the hot, sharp core of the earth below even that.
I'm not paralyzed anymore. When assessed, my body of knowledge does not seem to be much wider or deeper, but I am no longer forcing myself to replay memories anymore. It is a very good measure of progress, if you ask me. And you are asking me.
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